Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Magpie Tale #42

***Warning this verse may contain just a smidgen of vulgarity***....
(If you are offended I appologise in advance....)

"My cup runneth over" said the Spider to the Fly
"It has been such a long time since a dinner guest called by"
"What is on the menu?" asked the Fly of the Spider
"I'd like a piece of carrot cake and perhaps a mug of cider?"

"Cake and mug of cider" laughed the Spider to the Fly
"You'll be getting none of that... Though 'tis a meal for which to die"
"It wont be nothing fancy then?" enquired Fly of Spider 
"I guess I'll leave it up to you, I'll have what you decider" 

"There are many things" the spider chimed  "On which we both could feast".
"The rotting flesh of carrion" or "Five day old dead beast."
"There may be fruit gone moulded or sandwiches left waste"
"But I'm a rather descerning spider of very perculiar taste"

"You're  a very welcome diner" said the spider to the fly
"So many choices on the menu, now that you can't deny" 
"And while you've sat there patiently, well here's the funny thing"
"I've decided that for Luncheon we'll have someting on the wing"

"My minds made up" the Spider cried a dancing on eight feet
"You're on the menu Darling! It's you I'm going to eat."
A look of horror crossed the face of fly, now truly stuck.
I'm on the menu?... You cant mean? Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck...

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  1. So funny! If they weren't so annoying, I'd almost pity the fly.


  2. For some reason, maybe it's Charlotte, but I have a soft spot for Spiders. This was funny! I love an early laugh :)

  3. Haha! Thanks for the giggles! Clever one, Steve.

  4. Too funny! I loved it and F&^kem if they can't take a joke!

  5. oh heck oh heck---hilarious poem- right up my funny bone alley

  6. Great offering, hilarious in the earlier parts. As for the ending, we've been forewarned. So it is!

  7. Just my f*****g luck to get to the end of this hilarious debate while drinking coffee! It could well be Newkeyboard Day! Fetch a cloth.

  8. The neat part of Magpie Tales is never having to be offended .... loved this!

  9. Creative stuff -- congratulations.

  10. your spider web is cute....
    playful and witty tale..

    My Magpie

    has some awards/treats in it, have fun and enjoy the blog love.

  11. Oh my goodness, Steve...this was a riot.
    Why are flies so damned naive? :)

  12. I rarely trust a spider. :) Clever piece, to be sure!

  13. That's exactly what I'd say!!! fun post!

  14. Oh, I love your humor here. Wonderful diagogue!

  15. Thank you all for your heartening comments...
    I'm slowly working my way through older Magpie Tale Prompts and posting them here on my blog. Please feel free to check them out and offer your feedback, because as a "newbie" to writing Poetry I appreciate any feedback or thips that you might offer.
    Thank you again Steve...

  16. I could see the end coming and especially with the hint of on the wing. I kept awaiting the "vulgarity" and you sure did zing that in there. Different. I did laugh out loud.